My Divine Life

Highlands (Song of Ascent) O how high would I climb mountains If the mountains were where You hide O how far I’d scale the valleys If You graced the other side O how long have I chased rivers From lowly seas to where they rise Against the rush of grace descending From the source of its supply In the highlands and the heartache You’re neither more or less inclined I would search and stop at nothing You’re just not that hard to find So I will praise You on the mountain And I will praise You when the mountain’s in my way You’re the summit where my feet are So I will praise You in the valleys all the same No less God within the shadows No less faithful when the night leads me astray You’re the heaven where my heart is In the highlands and the heartache all the same O how far beneath Your glory Does Your kindness extend the path From where Your feet rest on the sunrise To where You sweep the sinner’s past O how fast would You come running If just to shadow me through the night Trace my step...

I had an epiphany today, I always start my day with music or a podcast (if you haven’t listened to Jocko, do it now!).  Today I decided to switch it up and listen to praise music and oh my goodness it makes such a difference on your outlook (I already knew this, but clearly I forgot🤷‍♀️).  I’ll be honest, I’ve been living in fear. I mean, haven’t we all? But for someone with an autoimmune disease or someone close to them it’s a very scary time! And I’ve been letting that consume me and in turn it takes a toll on my health (stress/anxiety is a trigger for Crohns flares, even though I’m already in one, it makes it worse).  Well like I said, I had an epiphany...I have lived through a life and death situation and I wasn’t scared then, ok I was a little...but nothing like now and at that time I truly was facing death,  And in the midst of fear And the unknown I had faith.  Not just paranoid about getting sick, And I realized, I’m not trusting God, which honestl...

"Balance comes in the moments you stand up for the life you truly want by making the choices that align with that life" I’ve been seeing a lot of things about this around social media lately and it certainly is needed! What does finding balance look like for you? I think it’s going to look different for every person but is absolutely achievable (ok mostly). For me, like most of us, I’ve never had it before. I never even knew I needed it until I got sick. I was constantly on the go, constantly doing things and I don’t remember much down time. Don’t get me wrong, I would sit and watch plenty of movies and things like that but in the big picture, there was no self care, and that is so so important for all of us. Self care just like balance can look different for all of us, for some it could just giving yourself grace to let the laundry or that to do list sit go and watch a favorite show, for others it could be getting your hair done, a mani/pedi, going out to lunch...

I’ve been struggling with this for many many years, long before I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease July of 2018. I have missed numerous events whether they be with friends, family, or just something Joe and I had planned, big or small I’ve missed everything. Weddings, birthdays, hangout times, family dinners, etc.  Some people were very understanding and others not so much.  Even close family didn’t understand, they just thought I’d get myself worked up, make myself sick, and then back out of whatever event I was supposed to be involved in, and I know a lot got frustrated with me. I haven’t been a good friend over the last 7-8 years and I honestly have no problem admitting that because it’s the absolute truth.  At the time I really didn’t understand why, sometimes I was tired, didn’t feel good, or honestly just scared of going out and doing things in fear of getting sick or even getting so tired that I wouldn’t be able to do anything the next day or...

A life/Crohn’s update...this is a long one so grab a snack and get comfy!  It’s been just over a year now since I was finally diagnosed with Crohn’s after 7+ years of suffering and not knowing why.  This year has been a serious roller coaster in every aspect and there is no way I would have made it through without my small circle of support and let me tell you, it is small.  Joe was trying to make me feel better about something the other day and told me I had a huge support system and a lot of people that care and in some ways, yes that’s true but in others it’s so far from it.  It’s easy to comment on a Facebook post and say the classics - “I’m praying for you” (but how many actually stop to say a prayer?? That’s something I started thinking about when I got sick because I was guilty of that very thing for a long time)  “I hope you get to feeling better” (Well Sally this is a LIFELONG thing...there is no get to feeling better so thanks for rubb...